Once upon a time there was a little paramecium named Erin.  Now Erin was a very grotesque paramecium with scanty attractive qualities, and no one liked her because she was evil and mean.  Erin would often become possessed by the Devil and perform evil little deeds like breeding bacteria in the cafeteria to make the little school-children ill, and even more often than that, she would crawl in peoples' ears and sing annoying songs like "I Like Big Butts" for hours on end.  Because of this, Erin had scanty friends.  One day she saw Kate the Goddess of the Heavenly Story Writing Circle and decided to crawl up her pant-legs and itch her.  Kate felt a peculiar tingling on her ankle halfway through a grueling physics quiz.  Reaching under her pants, she scratched furiously, and Erin the Paramecium was clawed to death, unfortunately and accidentally.  After that, no one got sick from eating the cafeteria food, the "Big Butts" song no longer plagued the school, and Erin the Paramecium went straight to hell!